Diary of the Mistress
“Please come down stairs.” Chris’ husky voice breathed into the phone, hopping to my feet, I pulled the curtains back to see him standing at the edge of the curb, staring up at my window.
Nodding my head, I ended the call, throwing my phone down onto the couch, rushing towards the door and yanking it open. My bare feet hit hard against the cold steps as I paced down into the dark night, Chris’ yellow skin bright under the street light.
Looking up at me with glossy eyes, Chris let his head fall only to lift it back up a few seconds later. Minutes had passed, neither of us uttering a word, goose bumps forming on my body as the chilling air whipped past me.
My heart began to quicken as he parted his full plump pink lips to speak.
“She’s pregnant.” He whispered with his glossy eyes, throwing his head back to reveal his long neck.
My throat dry as my jaw hung open, I was speechless, those few words shattering my heart more than I had expected.
“I’m so sorry, Ashton. I fucked everything up and I can’t apologize enough for this. I can’t leave her now though; she’s carrying my fuckin’ kid. I just- I’m so sorry.” Chris rushed up to me, holding both sides of my face as he heavily breathed.
“I wish that I could be with you. I wish that I never told you how I felt because now I’m hurting you and that was never my intention. If circumstances were different…” He folded his lips, our foreheads pressed together. “I’m sorry.” Letting go of me, Chris walked over to his bike, sliding his helmet on and throwing his long leg over.
Unable to watch him leave, my heart hurting too bad, I turned my back and gripped onto the stair handle. Hearing his bike rev, I began to walk up the steps, a loud bang stopping me, Chris pulling me into his hard chest within seconds.
Roughly, our lips collided, Chris’ large hands vandalizing my body as his long tongue slid into my mouth like a hungry snake in search of prey. Taking a moment to realize what was happening, I clenched tight onto his leather jacket, our bodies meshed tight together.
His hands tight on my hips, Chris continued to kiss me as if it were the last time he would ever see me, perhaps it would be. Not wanting to stop, I let our tongues dance and twirl, slight moans escaping from both of our lips.
Pulling back, Chris let his eyes stay closed, our chests heaving up and down but hands still gripping onto one another. I felt water on my face, glancing up to see a tear running down his cheek. For the first time I let my emotions flow in front of a man other than Leo, my eyes burning as I began to cry as well. I wasn’t sure if he was grieving over the fact that we would never be or that his life would be drastically changing within a matter of 9 months.
Either way, I hated to see it.
The Chris that I had my arms clutched tight around in the middle of the dark night wasn’t the man that I’ve fallen for, this man was different. No longer did he have his guards up; he was standing in front of me raw and vulnerable, my heart breaking at the sight.
Pressing my lips to his cheek, Chris held onto the back of my head, his cologne strong and irresistible. My heart ached as I realized what this meant, we’re over. Over before we could even start.
“I should go.” Chris murmured, his warm breath breaking chills out onto my freezing skin.
I honestly wanted to beg him to stay and his eyes pleaded for me to ask him that exact thing, but I didn’t. Sliding my hands down his well-built chest, I forced a smile on my face for his sake; mostly because I didn’t want him to feel guilty.
I’m used to the heartache, but I would hate myself if he was heartbroken as well.
Chris walked over to the curb, bending over to pick up his helmet. He didn’t bother to look back at me, sliding the protective glass over his eyes and slamming his foot down onto the gas pedal. Within seconds he was down the street, leaving me alone with this disappointment.
Huffing, I rushed up the stairs with blurry vision, my hand grasping tight onto the door knob and pulling it open. Falling down onto my couch, I called the first person that came to mind, my rock.
I banged hard on Michaels’ door, his whole neighborhood silent, my knocks the only raucous that could be heard in the suburban community. Stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket, I pressed my lips together, footsteps headed towards the door. Glancing up, Sasha stared back at me with sleepy eyes, the house pitch dark. I had no intent on waking her, guilt instantly kicking in.
Seems like fuckin’ shit up is my thing tonight.
“Uh, sorry, Sasha. Is Mike home?” I mumbled, my voice somewhat shaky.
Pushing her hair from her face, she folded her arms across her chest, quickly nodding. “Let me go wake him, come on in.”
Stepping into the house, I slid down onto their large sectional couch, my head pounding. After a few moments, Michael walked into the living room, his eyes bloodshot red.
“Sup, man. You alright?” He yawned, sitting across from me.
“No. You got something to ease my nerves?” I asked, looking up at him and then back down at the carpeted floor.
“Chris, you do realize what time it is don’t you?”
“Please, Ty. If you had the night I’ve had you’d understand.” Quickly trailing my tongue along my bottom lip, I took a deep breath, watching as Mike hesitantly stood up and walked over to the entertainment center.
Pulling out a small baggie, he threw me a blunt and a lighter. Nodding my head, I quickly lit the tip and put it to my lips, looking up to see Michael headed towards the back.
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go and check on Sasha.” Michael yawned again before disappearing into the back of the dark house.
Taking a long hit, I let it leak out my mouth, throwing my head back and shutting my eyes. After a few more drags, I felt it begin to seep into my body, all my problems seemed to float away. Clearing my throat, I sat forward and pulled my phone from my pocket, glancing down to see that it was nearly morning.
Putting the blunt out, I let rest sit on the side, looking up to see Michael walking back into the living room with a shirt on. Stumbling to my feet, I reached my hand out, his hand inside mine within a second.
“Thanks, man. I’m gon’ be out. I’ll hit you later.” I could hear my words slurring as they escaped from my lips, my body feeling light like I could drift away.
Before I could walk away, I felt Michaels’ hand on my chest pulling me back. “Let me give you a ride home, Chris. You’re fucked up. I can’t let you drive home like this.”
“Nah, man. I’m straight. Go back to bed, tell Sasha I’m sorry for waking her.”
“Don’t trip, Sasha is fine, just let me take you home. For my sake.” Mike insisted, walking ahead of me and snatching his car keys from the kitchen bar. Pulling the door open, he watched me until I agreed, my feet moving forward until I was walking out of the house.
Resting my head on the side of the car door, I let my heavy eyelids finally drop, low rap music playing in the background as we drove in silence. Coming to stop, I peered up to see my small complex, our apartment window illuminated by a dim light.
You should know what happens next.
“Thanks, man.” I rested my hand on the back of Tys’ small head, shaking it a bit. Flashing a small smile, I pulled on the door handle and stepped onto the sidewalk, pulling my shirt down in the back before shutting the car door behind me.
Tripping on the small flowers planted by our door, I gripped tight onto the screen door knob and regained my balance. Fidgeting with my keys, the door swung open before I could unlock it, an angry Ellie greeting me.
From the look on her face I knew she was beyond frantic, all her weight shifted onto one hip as she stared me down. Sliding past her, I slowly licked my lips, tugging onto the sleeve of my jacket and pulling it off. Plopping down onto the couch, I let my legs dangle off the side, closing my eyes for mere minutes until I heard Ellies’ voice.
“So you just come in at 4 o’clock in the fuckin’ morning and don’t say shit? Where in the hell have you been, Chris?” She yelled with a tremble in her voice as if she would burst into tears in any minute.
“Out.” I simply said, licking my lips that seemed to continue to be dry.
“Out with who? Michael, what did you guys go and do?” Ellie asked in an aggravated tone.
Keeping silent, I didn’t bother to open my eyes, from her voice I could tell she was irritated, the visual unnecessary.
“You’re sitting there quiet because you went and did some shady shit tonight, huh, Chris?” Ellie spat, she didn’t sound like my Ellie, her words cold and harsh. “You go and fuck some bitch tonight, Chris? Did you?”
Feeling something snap in me, I quickly sat up, fighting the wooziness and continuing to glare at her. “Want to talk about fuckin’ shady! It’s mad funny how your ass comes up pregnant when I don’t want to marry you! Since we talking ‘bout shady, it’s fuckin’ shady that you’re trying to make me feel guilty because I didn’t come home when you wanted me to. I’m a grown man, Ellie. You do not run me. I will go and come as I please, so if that’s why you got yourself pregnant, think again, baby girl. You havin’ my kid isn’t going to change my mind!” I screamed, my heart thumping loud in my ears.
I could see Ellies’ large green eyes growing glossy, but I was too enraged to back down.
“Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed, good night.” I mumbled, stroking my top lip with my tongue.
“Not in my fuckin’ bed, you can do whatever the hell you please, but in the fuckin’ living room. Hope you have a good night’s rest on the couch.” Ellie shrieked before bumping into my shoulder and walking towards our bedroom. Shooting one last death stare at me, she slammed the door with all her strength, the floors shaking some from the impact.
“Fuck!” I yelled, holding my hands over my face. I instantly regretted all the words that I let slip from my tongue, none of it was how I genuinely felt, the weed that I had in my system seemed to make me have diarrhea of the mouth, things came out that I wish I could take back.
Huffing, I plopped down onto the couch and kicked my shoes off, sliding the green throw blanket over my body and turning onto my side. My eyelids still heavy, they instantly dropped, my whole body drifting off.
Slitting my eyes, Ellie sat across from me, my mind catching up from what had just taken place a few hours before. Running my hands over my face, I sat up straight, my head aching worse than ever.
“You need to be ready in an hour, my parents are in town and want to take us to lunch.” She said nonchalantly as if we hadn’t been at each other’s throats earlier. Watching her as she stood up from the couch, I was speechless, unsure if the weed that Ty had given me made had me hallucinogenic and perhaps none of that even took place.
Stretching my arms, I stood up as well, pulling my shirt off and throwing it on the side of the couch. Trudging to the bathroom, I turned on the faucet, the water bouncing off the bottom of the tub.
Pulling off the rest of my clothing, I stared at myself in the mirror, taking notice of the bags now forming under my eyes. Grabbing my toothbrush, I squeezed the thick blue paste onto the bristles and stuck it into my mouth, clutching onto the handle and moving it up and down on all of my teeth. Once I was done, I climbed into the shower, the cold water hitting the top of my head as I attempted to warm it up some with little success.
I could hear Ellie on the other side of the curtain, poking my head out to see her applying makeup in the large mirror over the sink. Turning to the side, she flashed me a small smile, her whole face lit up. Confused, I forced a smile onto my face as well, unsure of how to react. Once I was back in the shower, I let the water run over my face, racking my brains to think of what exactly had happened earlier this morning.
Either the drugs that I had consumed altered my memory or Ellies’ simply messing with my mind, whichever it is, I don’t like it.
My head rested against his chest, his long fingers softly stroking my head and pushing my hair repeatedly out of my face. My hands gripped tight onto his cotton t-shirt, his presence alone seemed to calm me.
I know it’s wrong to have him here, but I can’t help it.
I needed him.
“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” Abraham asked, his voice deep and husky.
Shifting some in his lap, I looked up into his large brown eyes and shook my head. “Not really…” I awkwardly snickered, grazing my bottom lip with my tongue.
“We don’t have to talk, Ashton. I’m just glad you called me. I’ve missed you like hell.” Abe confessed, his large hand resting on my upper thigh, only inches away from my butt.
Letting the smile fall onto my face, I looked up at him through my lashes, stroking his thick cheeks. “I’ve missed you too, Abraham. Just shits so…complicated.”
“Well if you told me, maybe I could help you.”
“You can’t help me with this.” I met his gaze for a moment, lowering my head back down onto his chest and inhaling his mesmerizing scent.
Abraham didn’t press the topic, wrapping his large arms around me and pulling me so close that I could hear his heartbeat.
He may not be the right one, but he’s always right when I need him.
The constant pounding never subsided as I sat in the bright restaurant, thick sunglasses hiding my eyes in attempt to shield the sun. Fidgeting with the straw paper, I avoided eye contact with Ellie at all cost, the tension between us awkward.
“Christopher, take those glasses off. My parents will be here any minute.” She growled in almost a whisper, her main intention was for me not to embarrass her.
Scoffing under my breath, I slowly pulled them from my face, placing them down on the table and taking a sip of my ice cold water. Glancing over towards the door, I saw Ellies’ parents entering, her father waving his hand frantically over his head as if we couldn’t see them. Normally I love them, but today I wasn’t in the mood. Rolling my eyes, I lifted up from my chair, pulling my cell phone out.
“Chris, are you serious right now? What is wrong with you?” Ellie whispered, shooting a glare towards me before forcing a smile onto her face. “Mommy.” She grinned, rushing over towards her mom and embracing her into a tight hug.
Rolling my eyes for the umpteenth time, I pushed my phone back into my pocket, standing to my feet to meet her fathers’ hand halfway. Firmly shaking it, I flashed a quick smile. “Dad, how are you?” I asked, letting go of his hand and pulling him in for a hug.
“I’m good, son. How are you? You look tired, Chris. You’re not working too hard are you? You know Helen and I are more than willing to help you two out if you need it.” Ethan, Ellies’ father said, roughly patting my back.
“Nah, we’re good. Thank you though.” I smiled, turning to her mother and bending down some to hug her. Wrapping my arms around her torso, I squeezed tight onto the woman that has loved me like a son since I was a teenager, her same scent distinct as it entered my nostrils.
“How are you, baby?” Helen asked, holding onto the back of my neck.
“I’m good. You look beautiful today, did you do something different with your hair?” I asked as I stood up straight, turning my hat backwards to reveal my face.
“Chris, this is why I love you. You are the most attentive man that I have ever met. Now only if Ethan could take a few pointers.” She teased, pulling out her chair and sitting.
Grinning, I sat down as well, crossing my ankles and placing my hands in my lap. I could feel Ellie grip onto my forearm as if we hadn’t been arguing nonstop, my eyes peering over to see a cheeky grin on her face. Unable to crush her happiness, I intertwined my fingers with hers, picking up my menu with my free hand and glancing through it.
“So how is school going, Eliza?” Ethan asked, looking over the tall red menu.
“Good, dad. Great actually, almost done.” She sang, smiles falling onto all of their faces.
“What about you, Chris? You ready to be a busy EMT?” Helen asked, adjusting her small lenses over her face.
“Yeah, I’m more than ready. Until then these little jobs gotta do.” I murmured, deciding upon the grilled chicken and closing my menu.
“Actually, mom and dad-.” Before Ellie could finish, a waitress walked over towards our table with a small notepad and a pen in tow.
“Hello, are you guys ready to order?”
Knowing what Ellie was going to say, I quickly cleared my throat and met the waitresses gaze.
“I’ll take the grilled chicken with Portobello mushrooms, please.” I said all too fast, handing the young woman my menu and glancing over to Ethan.
Washing the uncomfortable expression from his face, Ethan flashed a crooked grin, closing his menu and handing it to her as well. “I’ll be having the grilled salmon with a spinach salad, lemon on the side, please.”
Quickly jotting in her notepad, the waitress slid the menu into the front of her jet black apron, glancing back up at Ellie and Helen.
Zoning out, I glanced to the side to see a medium toned woman with short hair walking in, my eyes instantly perking up being that she resembled Ashton so strongly. Sadly disappointed when the woman revealed her face, I sunk back down in my seat, my mind wandering off to Ashtons’ whereabouts.
Taking a deep breath, I twirled my thumbs, the restaurant somewhat noisy since it was lunch hour, the chaos only making my head pound worse.
“So, Chris, since I’m in town for a few days, how about we go and shoot some hoops. Just some one on one time. What do you say?” Ethan said with his deep baritone voice, his brown hair glowing under the sunlight.
“Uh, I’d like that. What day did you wanna do it so I can make sure I’m free.” I mumbled, adjusting my hat some.
“How about tomorrow?”
“Sounds good.” I smiled, moving my straw in circular motion in the thick glass.
“Chris, how is your mother? I’ve been meaning to call her and ask for that casserole recipe, time just seems to be moving too fast.” Helen grinned, erupting in a soft chuckle.
“She’s good, actually she and my sisters were on a retreat, well are. They’ll be back next week though if you want to give her a call then. My dad is home, I’m sure he doesn’t know the recipe.” I smirked, biting down on my bottom lip.
“Where’d they do?” Ethan curiously asked, the waitress walking over with three cokes and a sprite.
Taking the glass from her hand, I sat in front of me, watching as it dripped with sweat. “To Key West.” I smiled at the thought of my family, ripping the paper from the straw and sticking it into my caffeinated beverage.
“Ellie, you and Chris should go there for your honeymoon.” Helen suggested, clasping her hands together, her fingers decorated with gold jewelry.
Barely able to keep my drink from coming up, I quickly glanced over at Ellie who returned a nervous smile. Softly stroking the center of my back, she nodded her head. “Chris and I haven’t even decided upon honeymoon plans yet, but that sounds like fun, huh, Chris?”
With my brows lifted, I faked a smile for Ellies’ sake. “Yeah, we’ll see.” I simply said, noticing that our food was already headed towards our table.
Batting my eyes open, I felt Abrahams’ soft lips traveling across my neck and chest. Quickly sitting up, he looked up at me with a large grin, his dimples deep.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He whispered, his toned body revealed under the thin tank top.
“What are you doing?” I nervously asked, quickly moving back so that I was at the end of the couch, my back up against the arm rest.
“I thought I could take your mind off of whatever is bothering you.” Abraham said, scratching the side of his arm, a large tattoo covering his muscled bicep.
“By doing what?” I shrieked, standing to my feet and rushing over towards my floor to ceiling windows.
Chuckling, Abraham stood to his feet, an obvious bulge in his pants. “Do I really gotta say it?” He smirked, his dimples sinking deep.
“No, you don’t. You didn’t have to do it either, Abraham. I asked you to come here because I needed someone, not for you to take advantage of me. I think its best you go.” I walked over to the door, pulling it open and holding it until he walked towards it.
Pushing his body onto mine, Abraham refused to move, his hands traveling across my body. Gripping onto my legs, he roughly wrapped them around his waist, forcefully pushing me up against the wall.
“Why do you always do this to me, Ashton?” He growled into my ear, sloppily kissing the lobe of my ear and then jaw.
“Just please stop, Abraham. I’m sorry if I lead you on, I do not want this.” I pleaded, my strength not enough to push him off.
“No, you see I think you do. I just think you’re too afraid to admit it, but it’s okay, baby. You don’t have to say it.” He softly whispered into my ear, chills shooting down my spine as I realized what was happening.
“Please, Abraham.” I cried, tears now forming in my eyes as his grip grew tighter around my thighs.
“Shhh!” He breathed against my lips, his forehead pressed to mine. “Just stop talking.” Never letting me go, he walked over to the bedroom, throwing me down onto the bed and falling on top of me. “It’s been what, a month or so?” Abraham grinned, my heart felt like it stopped beating in that moment, the look in his eyes so unfamiliar that it terrified me.
I don’t know this man.
Attempting to run, my feet slid against the thin sheets, my knees falling onto the floor before I could exit the room. Rushing to me, Abraham collapsed on top of my body and slid in between my legs, his large hands traveling up my shirt and lips colliding with my skin. Tilting my head back as it was too hard to watch him violate me, tears that I had been holding back escaped down the sides of my face, my lips trembling as I pressed them together.
‘God, please make him stop.’ I continued to plead in my mind, wishing that anything would defer him from what he had planned.
The kisses that he planted disgusted me, his lips lowering down to my legs and pressing to my freshly shaved skin. My only chance to escape, I took a deep breath, tightening up my muscles and pulling my leg back. The heel of my foot collided with his face as hard as it could, Abrahams’ head bouncing back to hit my dresser.
Feeling our eyes contact; he shot me a deathly glare, my feet quickly hitting the hardwood floors and pacing towards the front door. Rushing into the hall, I took a breath of relief, the elevator door still open, enough time for me to enter.
Sliding into the cart, I quickly hit the close button, the doors not shutting quick enough, Abrahams’ long fingers barely missing it. Clutching onto my chest, I took a breath of relief, resting my back against the wall.
Hearing the bell ding, I looked up to see Abrahams’ fist flying to my face, my whole body dropping to the floor as if I had no bones. Lying on the cold floor in my thin t-shirt and small shorts, I stared at the bright sun as the elevator doors shut again, Abraham picking me up and forcing me to stand to my feet. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, a large contusion already began to form under my eye, my head throbbing. I silently sobbed, burning the open wound on my face, blood and tears falling down onto my white shirt.
Pushing me into my house, Abraham walked over to the couch, grabbing his shirt and sliding it over his body. Looking up at me with a smug expression, he lowered his brows, sitting down on the cushion and pushing his feet into the leather boots that he had worn over.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this, I fuckin’ swear.” He warned, standing up and pacing over to me. Gripping onto my checks, he stared me down, my eyes dropping to the floor as it was too hard to look at him. “Look at you, you’re fuckin’ worthless. Just so you know, don’t think you’re doing anything. I was never leaving Kim for you. You ain’t that special.” He gritted out, a devilish grin that made my skin crawl on his face. “Don’t bother coming back to work, you’re not wanted there.” Were his last words before he walked towards the door, glaring at me once more before disappearing.
My whole body weak, I slid down the wall, curling into a ball and letting all my emotions pour out onto the hardwood floors. Every muscle ached too bad to stand to my feet, the fetal position seemed appropriate and necessary at the moment.
Yearning for him, to see his face and feel his touch, I struggled to my knees and crawled over to the couch, patting around until I found my phone. Quickly pressing the screen, I put the phone to my ear, tears falling down my face as I heard his voice.
“I need you.”
“Ah, man. Come on, D.Rose is way better than LeBron. Get out of here with that.” I chuckled, cutting into my chicken.
“Like to put your money where your mouth is, son?” Ethan smirked, biting the food off of his fork.
“Well-.” My words stopped before they could start when I felt constant vibrations in my pocket.
Feeling Ellies’ eyes on me, I glanced over to see that she was indeed staring at me. Not caring, I pulled my phone from my pocket, glancing down at the screen to see a picture of Ashton popping up, my heart beating fast now. “Uh, can you excuse me for a moment?” I smiled before standing to my feet, the napkin dropping to the floor as I rushed over towards the bathroom.
Sliding the answer action, I put the phone to my ear, taking a deep breath from speaking. “Hey, Ash.” My voice echoed in the empty oversized bathroom.
“I need you.” She said in between cries, my whole world stopping as I heard the distress in her voice.
“I’m on my way.” I quickly walked out of the bathroom, ending the call and shoving the phone into my pocket. Rushing towards the table, I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. “I hate to run, but I have an emergency. I have to go.” I flashed an apologetic look towards Ellies’ parents, their reaction taking too long, my nerves growing impatient. “Here’s 50 bucks, this should cover our meals.” I breathed, throwing the money onto the table.
“Chris, please. Put your money away. Go and we will see you later.” Helen said, looking up at me through her thick lashes, a reassuring smile on her small face.
Smiling, I grabbed the bills and pushed them deep into the pockets of my jeans, turning on my heels and pacing towards the exit. The cold air slapped me in my face as I hit the street, turning around to see Ellie behind me.
“Chris, where are you going?” She yelled, her blonde hair blowing in the wind.
A yellow taxi pulling in front of me, I had no time for explanations, the tone in Ashtons’ voice let me know that she really did need me, Ellies’ feelings the least of my worries at the moment. Hopping into the taxi, I spilt out Ashtons’ address, my feet uncontrollably shaking as the cab driver headed towards her building.
Shoving all the money that was in my pocket in the cab drivers hand, I slammed the door shut, skipping steps to make it to the building door. Swinging it open, I zoomed up the building steps, the elevator too time consuming at the moment. Out of breath, I continued to run, noticing that Ashtons’ door was wide open, visible from down the hall. Running quicker than before, my sneakers screeched against the hardwood floors as I saw her meek body sprawled across the floor, my heart nearly falling out of my chest.
“Ashton!” I screamed, bolting to her aid. Kneeling down, I picked up her weak body with both arms, quickly carrying her over to the couch. “Who did this to you?” I asked, my voice deep with a tremble.
With her eyes partly slit, tears ran down her cheeks, her face black and blue. “Chris.” She whispered in between sobs, her soft hands clutching onto my face.
“Yes, baby. I’m here.” I exasperated, pulling her close to me so that our bodies were nearly pressed together.
It felt like steam was literally escaping from my ears as I sat on the couch with her bruised body in my arms, Ashton and her well being the only thing on my mind.
The more I examined each wound on her body, the more enraged I would become, my body urging to find whoever abused her.
Lord have mercy on them, he may not even be able to help.
If you or anyone that you know has been sexually abused or assaulted please call 1-800-656-HOPE. May God bless you.