Diary of the Mistress
“What if I am?” I mumbled, my voice trembling as I sat on the hard hospital table. My body was covered in goose bumps, the shaking of my hands uncontrollable.
My eyes followed Leo as he walked over to me, his large hands cupping my face, his face inching closer to mine until our foreheads were pressed together.
“We’re going to be a family.” Leos’ bottom lip trembled as he spoke, his brown eyes growing glossy. “Okay? Just me and you, baby. Me, you and our baby.” He smiled at me, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip.
I held onto his face, moving forward so that our lips softly collided. Leo dug his fingers into my hair, our tongues beginning to dance as the door opened up. Quickly pulling back, I glanced over to see the doctor walking in with a clipboard in tow.
“Sorry.” He mumbled, scratching his head as he pushed the door shut behind him.
Embarrassed, I used my fingers to wipe the corner of my mouth, Leos’ sneakers squeaking against the hardwood floors as he rushed past me towards the side of the table.
“You won’t believe how often that happens. Don’t even worry about it.” The doctor chuckled, sitting down on the small swivel stool and adjusting his small glasses.
I felt Leos’ large hands on my shoulders, his fingers softly pushing into my skin in attempt to calm my nerves.
“So you think you’re pregnant?”
My lips turned into a smile, my head quickly nodding. “Well I took a pregnancy test and it said I was. I just wanted to confirm.”
Smiling, the doctor scribbled something down, standing up from his stool. “The nurse will be back in a moment to give you a cup for a urine sample and then we can confirm. Okay?”
Exchanging a glimpse with Leo, we both shook our heads, excited for the results.
“I hope it’s a girl.” Leo blurted out as we sat in the patient room, waiting for the results of the pregnancy test.
Smiling, I pushed my bangs from my face, looking over at him.
“I’m surprised you don’t want a boy.” I smirked, crossing one leg over the other.
Leonardo licked his full lips, turning his baseball cap backwards to reveal his pretty brown eyes. “Nah, I’ve always wanted a girl. I’m going to spoil the hell out of her. She’s going to be a daddy’s girl.”
My heart melted as I heard him say those words, knowing that he wanted this baby as much as I did made me happy. For us to be a family, even though it was unexpected, was the one thing that would make my life complete.
“Wanna know a secret?” Leo whispered as he walked over to me, resting his hands on my knee.
“Sure.” I grinned, intertwining our fingers.
“I already got her something.”
Furrowing my eyebrows, I lowered my head to look into Leos’ ashamed eyes, his face turning red. “Babe, you don’t even know if it’s a her yet.”
“I do, babe.” He quickly replied, a cute smile on his face. “It’s our daughter. We’re having a baby girl, Ash.” Leos’ honey orbs lit up as he talked about our future child, his smile wide and beautiful.
I brushed my fingers along the side of his face, his scruffy beard tickling my knuckles. “Our baby girl.” I whispered, smiling as well.
Leo pressed his lips to my forehead, letting them linger there for a few minutes before pulling away. Turning around, Leo rested his back against the table, his arms folded across his chest as his foot tapped against the floor.
He was nervous, but so was I. This pregnancy wasn’t planned; especially in the middle of the semester of my final year, but you can’t control fate. The thought of being a mother became more appealing as I talked about it with Leo, his excitement rubbing off on me.
The thought of having Leos’ baby was exciting in itself. Just to have a family with him would be a dream come true.
The doctor walking into the room jolted me from my thoughts, my heart beginning to pound in my chest as he opened up the chart. Looking up at us, he cleared his throat, his lips curling into a smile.
“The pregnancy tests were right, you’re expecting.”
Before I could think, I felt Leos’ hands gripping onto my sides and lifting me from the table. I slid my arms around him, resting my head in the crook of his neck as he hugged me tight.
“We’re going to be parents.”
As I laid in the middle of the bed, I stared at the Cabbage Patch doll that Chris had given me as a Christmas gift, everything about it reminded me of Leo and Leah.
Standing to my feet, I pulled the box down from the dresser, opening up the closet and placing it on the top shelf. Closing the door, I crawled back into the bed, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep.
Scoffing, I pulled my keys from my purse, jogging up the steps to my tiny apartment unit.
“How did you find out where I live?” I asked, stopping at the top of the staircase and staring at him.
Abraham leaned up against the brick building, his arms folded across his chest as he flashed a quick smile. Clearing his throat, he stood up straight, his hands sliding into the dark slacks that he was wearing. “I just wanted to check on you. You know you probably barfed up everything you ever ate in your life today.” He grinned, biting down on his plump bottom lip.
Hiding my smile, I rolled my eyes, brushing past him to unlock my door. “You still didn’t answer my question.” I grunted, struggling to twist the key that I had already complained to the manager about.
“Here, let me.” Abraham said, his built body pressing against mine as he gripped onto the key, our fingers brushing against each other’s.
Stepping back, I watched as he unlocked the door for me, turning around with a huge grin on his face.
“Thanks.” I smiled, taking my key from him.
Walking into the house, I threw my purse onto the iron futon in my living room, turning back towards Abraham. “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Abraham pressed his lips together, leaning forward on his tippy toes. “Yeah, I guess so.” He sighed, loosening up his silk tie.
Furrowing my brows, my lips turned into a smile, pushing my hair from my face. “Are you always this weird?” I teased, licking my lips.
Abraham flashed his beautiful smile again; the corner of his eyes had a few laugh lines, his dimples deep. “Nah, I promise I’m not. It’s just you make me nervous.”
Pulling my head back some, I twisted up my lips, looking at him as if he were crazy. “I make you nervous?” I asked, pointing to my chest.
Dropping his head, he looked back up at me with his chocolate eyes. “Yeah, you do.” It was back silent; the only thing to be heard was the busy traffic on the dark street. “Look, Ashton, this is really unprofessional of me, because I’m your boss and everything.” Biting down on his bottom lip, he rubbed the back of his head, glancing back up to meet my eyes. “But I’d like to take you out sometime, if that’s cool with you.”
Biting down on my bottom lip, I hid the smile that was forming on my face. “You’re right, that is unprofessional, Abraham.”
Sighing, he ran his hand across the side of his beard. “I’m sorry, it’s just- let me take you out once. If you hate me at least you get a free meal.” Abraham said, raising his eyebrows as he waited in anticipation for my answer.
“You’re not going to give up, huh?”
“No.” He grinned, chewing on the corner of his lip. “Please.” The way he stared at me with his brown eyes made me weak.
“Fine.” I playfully rolled my eyes, leaning up against the threshold of the door and folding my arms across my chest.
Walking up onto me, he cupped my face in his rough hands, pressing his large lips to my forehead. I closed my eyes; the touch from a man instantly calmed me, the feeling so unfamiliar since Leos’ death. Slowly pushing my hands flat onto his chest, I tilted my head, our lips touching. Abraham gently slid his tongue into my mouth, my fingers clutching onto the back of his head. Our kisses grew deeper, his hands sliding down to my waist, the tips of his fingers inching underneath my blouse to grip onto my hips.
Pulling back, I looked up at him, a smile on both of our faces. “I think you should go now.” I giggled, smoothening out his dress shirt.
Letting go of me, Abraham stepped back onto the porch, removing my gloss from his lips. “Good night, Ashton.”
1 Week Later
Soft music played throughout my house, the lights dimmed low as I sipped on a large glass of wine. Everything that I had done within the year was on my mind as the countdown grew closer to midnight. I felt lonely, wishing that someone would be here to spend this holiday with. Turning the glass up to my lips, I finished the little bit of alcohol, my nerves beginning to calm as I felt it kick in.
Standing up from the sofa, I walked towards the kitchen, sitting my cup in the sink and turning back towards the living room. I curled back up on the cushion, sliding a blanket over my body and adjusting the pillow until my head was resting comfortably.
A few knocks on the door shifted me from my comfortable position, my head jerking towards the door, wondering who could be knocking on my door on New Year’s Eve. No one cared about me that much.
Wobbling back to my feet, I tugged at my short boxers, quickly pacing towards the door to unlatch the locks. Pulling open the door, my eyes furrowed as I looked up to see him standing at the door.
“What are you doing here?”